


The Bet

by CanineKitten



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betaed, Humor, M/M, but also a bit serious, this is really silly tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 11:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18659161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanineKitten/pseuds/CanineKitten
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto has recently come out as a couple, and their friends are a bit too curious about who does what between the sheets. One evening at the bar this curiosity results in a bet as well as many a discussion about gender roles and stereotypes.





	The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try my hand at humor, but it sorta also got a bit serious, so I don't know... ^^, I hope you'll like it!

Quite a few of Naruto and Sasuke’s friends were surprised when the two men came out and told everyone they were dating each other.

Even Sakura hadn’t foreseen it. Thankfully, she was over her crush on Sasuke, or else she might have taken the news a lot harder than she did. She kept wondering how she could have missed it, though, because it was so glaringly obvious when she was then informed about it.

Their group of friends accepted this news easily once it was digested and everyone had gotten over the fact that Uzumaki Naruto was dating none other than his (supposed) rival, Uchiha Sasuke.

“How does that even work out?” Kiba mused one evening when their group of friends were hanging out at their favorite bar. Lately he had been giving this issue more thought that he would like to admit. “I mean, how do they not kill each other when… you know…”

Hinata just looked at him with uncomprehending, lilac eyes, and from Shino came only a muted buzz from somewhere underneath his clothes.

Shikamaru sighed. “That’s too troublesome to think about.”

“Also,” Chouji said between mouthfuls of chips, “It’s not exactly something I want to think about.”

Ino didn’t have the same tact (or reservations) as the others.

“You mean, when they have sex?”

Everyone around her groaned, except from Hinata who grew bright red.

“What?” Ino looked around at the others. “Come on, you have to have wondered about it. I mean, I do. Like, how do they decide who does what, if you get what I mean?” She winked.

“Maybe they draw lots?” Sai suggested.

“Or maybe they fight about it,” Tenten snickered. “And the one who wins, tops.”

“Please, guys…” Sakura felt a bit uncomfortable. “Those are our friends you’re talking about.”

The others ignored her.

“Let's place bets on it!” Kiba said in a fit of drunken creativity.

“What?” Sakura said. “Don’t be ridiculous… How are you gonna find out who’s right?”

“We’ll just ask them who does what.”

“No way! You can’t just ask them that!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s rude!”

“And they most probably won’t tell us,” Tenten mused.

“Hm, you’re right,” Kiba said. “But we could find out other ways, right? I mean, there must be some sort of sign. Or maybe we can persuade Naruto to tell us.”

The others started placing bets. To Sakura’s horror, everyone but her had an opinion on this. Suddenly, the others weren’t so shy about the subject as in the beginning. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that some alcohol had been consumed in the meantime.

“It has to be Sasuke who bottoms,” Shikamaru said.

“I don’t see why,” Tenten said. “I mean, can you really imagine him submitting to Naruto?”

“They are dating,” Lee reminded them. “Both of them have to yield a little.”

“And they have been much more in tune lately,” Ino said.

That was true… It was almost creepy the way they seemed to know what the other was thinking. They moved together like one person, spoke for each other with the most natural ease, and even when they bickered they seemed to be in tune with each other.

Sakura shuddered. It was cute but also uncanny.

“My bet is on Naruto as the one bottoming,” Tenten said. Ino agreed.

Sakura didn’t say anything. To be honest, she didn’t have the faintest idea which one of them did what in the relationship, and it sort of bugged her that she, their closest friend, couldn’t guess that. She was supposed to know them best, right?

“I think they switch,” Sai said.

“I think it has to be Naruto,” Chouji said. “He’s acts so brawny, but he’s actually a softy. He probably loves being taken care of by Sasuke.”

“No, it has to be Sasuke,” Kiba shot in. “Behind that cold exterior of his, he’s probably just dying to be manhandled. And besides, have you seen his mood swings? He’s basically a woman.”

“Why do you keep assuming that someone who has some perceived feminine traits has to be the bottom?” Ino shot in. “It doesn’t have to do anything with being feminine or masculine!”

“In truth, we probably can’t guess it by judging by personality and looks alone,” Shino shot in.

“You’re right,” Kiba said. “We need to observe them. Maybe make them talk.”

Sakura sighed. “Are we really doing this?”

“Of course we are! Place your bet, forehead. We’re getting to the bottom of this.” Ino snickered at her own pun.

“Guys?”

All heads spun to face the door. Naruto and Sasuke had arrived without them noticing. 

Suddenly everyone tried their best to look inconspicuous, and the note with their bets was hurriedly tucked away.

Naruto looked at them with a puzzled look on his face. Sasuke stood a little behind him, glaring at them all like he could tell that they’d been up to no good.

Kiba pointed at them.

“You guys are two hours late!” He cried in an attempt to distract from the tense silence.

“What was keeping you up?” Tenten drawled.

“It must have been really urgent,” Ino said. “They didn’t even have the time to brush their hair.”

Naruto self-consciously ran a hand through his mussed up hair before placing it on his throat to cover the angry red hickey there. He was blushing bright red, and even Sasuke had a faint tint of pink on his cheeks.

Then Kiba ordered a new round of drinks, and everyone was grateful that the attention had been brought over on something else.

 

\-----

 

Sakura had thought that the others would forget all about the ‘who bottoms’ business the next day, but to her surprise, everyone was taking it seriously even when sober.

“We have to get to the bottom of this,” Kiba said, and then he high-fived with Ino.

Sakura felt tempted to slap her own forehead. “I can’t believe you guys,” she said. “Is that why you gathered us all here?”

“Of course,” Ino said. “I met Naruto and Sasuke just now, and they said they were taking a walk in the park. They should be here any minute. We just need to watch them interact, and that way we can deduce who is the more submissive out of them.”

When Sakura received the urgent message, she’d thought something was on fire. She was astonished that everyone had managed to gather so quickly.

Ino turned fully towards Sakura. “You haven’t placed a bet yet.”

Sakura threw her hands up. “I’m not going to either.”

Ino grinned. “But you’re still here.”

“I didn’t realize what you invited us here for.”

Just then, they saw Naruto and Sasuke come walking down the path in the distance, and the whole bunch of them dove into the cover of the shrubbery, Sakura included. She didn’t have much choice.

“I know you’re curious too,” Ino whispered in her ear, and Sakura shivered slightly from delight.

She blushed and batted Ino away. “Well, I’m here so I might as well tag along and make sure you guys don’t do anything stupid.”

Ino just winked at her.

“Hey, guys! Naruto is putting his arm around Sasuke,” Kiba, who was looking through a pair of binoculars, whispered triumphantly. “Just like a boyfriend would do to his girlfriend.”

“Again; can we please stop with the assumption that any perceived gender roles has anything to do with this?” Ino said.

“It doesn’t?”

Ino groaned.

They followed Sasuke and Naruto through the park, which wasn’t an easy feat doing undetected, as they were ten people who moved around in a bunch. Thankfully, Naruto and Sasuke were too busy staring into each other’s eyes to notice anything that went on around them.

They stopped by an ice cream booth, and the group of stalking friends hurried to dive for cover inside some bushes. They fought over who got to use the binoculars, and in the end Chouji won by holding Kiba away with one arm.

“Look, Sasuke just bought Naruto an ice cream cone!” Chouji said.

“Shhh!” Ino hissed. Then she took the binoculars from him and looked through them.

“Aw!” She cooed. “How cute!”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” Kiba huffed.

“If you think Naruto putting his arm around Sasuke proves anything, then I can say that Sasuke buying Naruto an ice cream proves everything.”

“Are we soon done with this?” Shikamaru drawled. He was lying in the grass staring up at the sky.

Tenten wiped sweat from her brow. “I could go for an ice cream too.”

“They’re leaving now,” Ino informed them. She lowered the binoculars. “I suppose we have deserved an ice cream after all the effort we’ve been going through today.”

“The effort of stalking our friends,” Sakura muttered. Her friends bickered the whole time as they ate their ice creams.

“You have to agree that it seems unlikely that Sasuke would, you know… take on the female role in their relationship,” Chouji said.

Sakura bristled at the phrasing ‘female role’, but Chouji hurried on before she could protest.

“He’s too proud. And besides, Naruto is so nice and sweet, and though he protests he usually lets Sasuke lead in other situations.”

“That’s because Sasuke is about as compliant as a stone pillar,” Sakura bit out. “And please refrain from using the words ‘female role’ ever again. You make it sound like something derogatory.”

“But it isn’t mean that way,” Kiba said. “We’re just saying that the one who takes it…” He shrugged. “They obviously must be more feminine than the one who gives. It’s just logical.”

Sakura felt like tearing out her hair.

“That’s the most backwards logic I’ve ever heard,” Ino shot in.

“I agree,” Shikamaru said. “People who like to be in control in other parts of their lives, tend to like to relinquish control in the bedroom. It’s just human nature. It doesn’t really matter how they act normally.”

Ino wriggled her eyebrows. “Talking from experience, eh?”

Shikamaru actually blushed.

Sakura thought of Temari, who always was very much in control, and shared a wink with Ino.

“Fine,” Kiba said. “I get it. Things aren’t always as they seem and all that. But seriously, this isn’t helping us figure out which one of them does what!” He waved his hand in the direction where Naruto and Sasuke had disappeared over ten minutes ago.

“Maybe we should just give up on this,” Shino suggested.

“No way!” Kiba slapped his fist against his palm. “We can’t give up that easily! We can’t stop now. I have to know the truth!”

The others exchanged glances.

“Say, Kiba,” Tenten said. “Aren’t you a bit too hung up on this?”

Ino joined in. “Yeah. It could almost seem like you have become personally invested.”

Kiba blushed a bit. “Oh, shut up.” Then he plowed on. “You have to admit that it seems most probable that Sasuke is the, you know… the one on the receiving end, right? I mean, look at his face… He’s just too pretty.” He looked around at the others, who now were snickering and wolf whistling.

“Wow, Kiba,” Ino said. “You’ve really put some thought into that.”

“I’m just stating facts! He’s pretty like a girl; that’s a fact. I bet that when they’re alone together, he’s all too eager to submit to Naruto. He just puts up a tough façade to hide it.”

Sakura was growing tired of this. “Why does sex have to have anything to do with personality and looks, anyway?” she said. “I mean, what you want is what you want, no matter how you look or what your personality is like.”

Some of the others clapped.

“Hear, hear!” Lee said.

“So we’re giving up on this, then?” Sakura said.

Ino looked at her like she’s gone insane. “No way! We ain’t quitters! Onwards!”

The others cheered.

Sakura sighed.

 

\-----

 

The group of friends didn’t make much leeway on the issue of who bottomed in Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship, and Sakura was thankful for that. Maybe they could finally put it to rest and forget about the whole deal. But the bet was brought up again the next time Sasuke and Naruto were late to meet them at the bar.

Kiba took out the crumbled note with their bets, and flattened it on the bar counter.  
He sighed. “I guess this was just a stupid bet after all,” he said.

The others agreed with soft mm’s.

“I mean,” Kiba continued. “I guess Sakura was right. Sexual preference doesn’t have anything to do with outside appearance. And besides, it was invasive of us to try and figure it out for ourselves.”

Sakura patted his shoulder. “Now you’re getting it.”

Kiba crumbled the note. “Let’s just call it quits.”

The others agreed.

He threw the crumbled paper at the wastebasket, but missed the opening and the paper ball bounced off and merrily rolled across the floor. Its mad dash for freedom stopped abruptly, though, as it collided with a foot. The owner of the foot bent down and picked it up.

“Hey, what’s this?” Naruto, who had just arrived, said, and started unwrapping the paper.

Everyone froze.

Naruto’s eyes scanned the page.

“Huh… Why are Sasuke’s and my names written here? And what’s this-“

Kiba finally managed to move from his stupor and snatched the paper from Naruto. It was too late, though. Naruto stared at Kiba in astonishment.

“What the… Is that… Are you betting on which one of us bottoms!?”

“Listen,” Kiba said. “It was just for fun! There’s nothing-“

Naruto took a menacing step closer, his eyes dark as thunderclouds. It was seldom anyone had seen him this angry before.

Kiba backed away.

“They were in on it too!” He said, effectively throwing all his friends under the bus.

The others started protesting. “You started it!” They shouted.

“Quiet!” Naruto yelled.

The room became quiet so quickly that one could hear the clack of everyone’s teeth as they snapped their mouths shut.

“You can be glad Sasuke didn’t see this,” Naruto fumed. “He would have… Anyway, I’m not gonna tell him because despite all this, I still prefer having friends who aren’t brutally mauled.”

The collective swallow was very audible in the quiet room.

Naruto ripped the piece of paper into little pieces and let it scatter on the floor. Then he turned on his heel and walked to the door. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and looked over his shoulder.

“And for the record, we switch.” He shrugged. “If you were so curious, all you had to do was ask.” Then he slammed the door loudly behind him as he left.

The locale was left so quiet in his wake that one could hear the trapped moths flap their wings against the window panes.

Then Sai piped up, “I believe you owe me ninety bucks, guys.”

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing can derail Sai... ^^,


End file.
